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Chemicals Feminizing Boys

caughtnaked — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:03:02 +0000

Males exposed to high doses of chemicals in plastics while in the womb have smaller penises and brains that are more feminine. The bad chemicals, phthalates, are banned in toys but they are found in plastic furniture and packaging. Boys who are overexposed don’t want to play rough games but they love ballet.

GM Paying Back

General Motors, which owes the US government $6.7 billion and the Canadian government $1.4 billion, will start repaying both loans this year. The $10 payments, along with a box of chocolates, should be in the mail before Christmas.

The Irish Have Stopped Eating

One in three restaurants in Ireland is losing money and may have to close putting 21,000 out of work. The Restaurant Association wants government to reduce the minimum wage and end higher pay for Sunday work. The workers just don’t want to get screwed.

Thatcher Not Dead

caughtnaked — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:29:32 +0000

When Canadian Transport Minister John Baird’s beloved cat died, he wanted to let everyone know, so he sent this message: “Thatcher is dead.” That led to some confusion and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper was about to send his condolences when aides learned Baird was talking about his cat which was named after his heroine, Margaret Thatcher, who is 84 and still purring.

Gay Priest Entering Same-Sex Union

Speaking of gay marriage, a 70-year-old, retired Canadian priest in Toronto plans to marry his partner to become the first North American priest in a same-sex marriage. No word from the Vatican as to whether the newlyweds should expect the pension cheques to continue.

Vatican Looks to Heavens for Convert

caughtnaked — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:23:50 +0000

The Vatican, which has burned and locked up scholars for suggesting there is life on other planets, is now exploring whether there is extraterrestrial alien life as a way to gain new members. “If they’re out there, we want them.”

Gamers Dumped by Microsoft

One million gamers who modified their consoles to play pirated video games have been permanently banned by Microsoft from playing Xbox Live online. Now, the pissed-off gamers will have find something else to do . . . to Microsoft’s new software perhaps.

No Double Dipping

Catholic churches in Italy are installing automatic holy water dispensers to help reduce the risk of spreading swine flu. In a completely separate prevention program, they’re installing cameras to reduce the risk to altar boys.

Loud Sex Couple Still Guilty

caughtnaked — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:00:03 +0000

A woman who was banned from making loud noises during sex has lost an appeal against her conviction. She argued she has a right to “respect for her private family life.” Neighbors countered there was nothing private about sex screams from the couple that went on for hours, clearly a sign that the couple is not only seeking attention, they are showing off as well.

Drunken Pilot Taken Off Plane

A United Airlines pilot has been arrested just before taking off from Heathrow to Chicago with 124 passengers and a crew of 11 on board. Everyone was transferred to another plane and, after the crew passed a breathalyzer test, they were cleared for takeoff.

Russian Cops Are Crooks

Russian officials have admitted police corruption saying that some parts of the police have become criminal businesses. Police say they are paid so little they are forced to arrest people just so they can make them pay bribes. They say it’s a business model that always works.

Two Koreas Clash

caughtnaked — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:44:27 +0000

North and South Korea have clashed in the Yellow Sea. The South Koreans say a North Korean vessel crossed into their waters where gunfire was exchanged. The South Korean ship was not damaged but the North Korean ship was in flames as it headed for home to a heroes welcome for destroying the entire South Korean navy, humiliating the US fleet and causing the financial collapse of the entire Western world.

Curves Are Smarter

Curvy women are likely to be smarter than thin counterparts and may produce more intelligent offspring. Scientists say one should look for the greatest difference between the waist and the hips because the booty stores Omega-3 which could improve the mental abilities of both the child and mother, even if the father is an idiot.

Engineered Penis Works

Scientists have been able to completely replace the erectile tissue of the penis in rabbits. The rabbits who were given the engineered tissue were able to function sexually and produce offspring. I’m just saying.

Wal-Mart Coffins Don’t Come With Greeter

caughtnaked — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:54:37 +0000

Wal-Mart has started selling coffins at cut-rate prices. If you think you’ve got a year, you can even get yours by paying over 12 months, interest free. If you’re on a tighter time line, the retailer says they can ship within 48 hours. Funeral directors say they can beat that time line with in-stock coffins and they’ll even throw in a funeral home and, of course, a greeter.

Ocean Liner Offers Zip Lining

The Oasis of the Seas, the world’s largest ocean liner, is 1,200 feet long and 16 decks high. When Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines begins cruises from Miami in December, they will be able to accommodate more than 6,000 passengers who will be able to swim, golf and go zip lining, which should really speed things up if they ever have to abandon ship.

Somali Pirates Struggling Financially

A British couple seized by Somali pirates will need to come up with $7 million in ransom according to pirates holding them. The amount was set high because of all the damage the international anti-pirate force has done to the pirate business off Somalia lately. As one of the pirates put it, “The rest of the world may be fine but we’re going through a real economic downturn.”

Size Zero Not Attractive

caughtnaked — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:26:07 +0000

A study has found that young men don’t find size zero girls as attractive as “normal” sized girls. The study also found they don’t like overweight girls either which left scientists to conclude that even young men are pigs.

Fox, Obama Not

The Obama administration has apparently gone to war with Fox news arguing that what Fox delivers is not news, which is fair since Fox has always argued that Obama is not a president.

112-Year-Old Man Takes Teen Bride

A 112 year old Somali man has married for the fifth time and his new bride is just 17. After the ceremony, the groom said he hoped they would have children, then he feel asleep and wet himself.

North Korean Women Dress Oppressed

caughtnaked — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 12:13:19 +0000

Here’s some back seat information you could do without. North Korean women are not allowed to ride bicycles and they must wear dresses instead of pants. If they are late for work, probably because they weren’t allowed to ride their bicycles, they are sent to labour camps. Otherwise, things are good.

44 Wealthy Germans Go Mad

I love the rich, especially when they tip big. A group of wealthy Germans is petitioning the government to tax them more to fund economic and social programs to aid Germany’s economic recovery. Of the 2.2 million richest Germans, 44 have so far signed the petition and been barred from their country clubs.

African Bishops Dump On African Leaders

Some African bishops have decided to cast the first stone. Roman Catholic bishops from across Africa have called on Africa’s corrupt leaders to either repent or step down. The leaders, including prominent Catholics Zimbabwean leader Robert Mugabe and Angolan President Eduardo Dos Santos, have all opted to repent.

Plane Overflies Destination

caughtnaked — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:35:17 +0000

A Northwest Airline Airbus, on a flight from San Diego to Minneapolis, overflew its destination by 144 miles. The crew said they were distracted during a heated discussion over airline policy and lost track of their location. The 144 passengers knew exactly where they were . . . in mortal danger!

Pot Smoker Wanted

The alternative Denver newspaper, Westword, is in the market for a marijuana critic to write about Colorado’s medical marijuana dispensaries. The pay is meagre, the pot will not be free and the writer must have a medical ailment that allows him or her to go to dispensaries and use marijuana. The column will probably be laid back.

Playing Through

Nullarbor Links, the world’s longest golf course, is spread over two Australian states and covers 848 miles. It takes about a week to play, driving up to 60 miles between holes. Lost balls are usually recovered by dingos. If they go into the water, golfers are advised to leave them to the crocodiles.

Bad Diets Blinding

caughtnaked — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:19:30 +0000

New studies show you can escape macular degeneration by eating fish, nuts, greens and foods rich in vitamins C and E. Or, you can smoke, eat white bread and foods high in sugar and go blind.

White Wine Bad for Teeth

Acid in white wine – especially rieslings - erodes tooth enamel far more than red wine, although you can ease the problem by eating cheese with your wine. If you have white wine with your meal, wait 30 minutes before brushing your teeth and going to bed because weakened enamel could be brushed away. If you’re drinking the wine in bed, you’re probably not thinking about your teeth.

Afghan Opium

Afghanistan has a monopoly on illegal opium production that brings in $65 billion a year. Why aren’t we in on this?

Ironic

A British man who faked accidents so his victims could make insurance claims has been sentenced to four and half years in prison but he had his licence suspended for just three and a half years. Odd!